Pulse

I just had another odd dream, so I’m going to try and brain dump as much of it as I can. I’ll refer to each section of the dream as a scene much like a play of show, because thats what it feels like sometimes.

For whatever reason, I started out in some kind of military camp as a guest with a lot of liberty to do as I pleased, but still had to do many of the things the others did. I was living in the barracks with a roommate. I don’t know why, but at one point I was sneaking around looking for something while he was in the shower, even going in the shower trying not to be noticed but doing an awful job. I seem to remember as I left the bathroom and quietly closed the door, all of the steam in the room escaped with me.

In the next scene I’m walking next to a general, toward a wooden structure that looks like a big backyard deck that would belong in back of someone’s normal house. Strewn neatly all about the place were pairs of pleated kahki pants and dress shirts. They were all neatly placed and or folded where they lay, yet were on the ground or hanging from branches of trees. The general was very angry at this, and started picking pairs of pants up that were folded over branches as I did the same. He yelled at one recruit to throw a pair out that was lying on the ground. The recruit looked up at him as though they were his own and very best pair of pants, but then had no choice but to follow the order after the general stared him down.

I am now in some big auditorium with all the seats taken out so it looks more like a night club of sorts. I am no longer on the military base or surrounded by military people. The people present are all peripheral people from life. Not necessarily friends, but people I have known. Its suddenly something like a dance and everyone is listening and dancing to the music. I am standing in the back, more or less unnoticed. Some people have painted faces, others have are wearing masks, and still others have masks that are sort of glued on to their face and decorated with paint and sequins and the like. After a while, I look down and I’m holding an mp3 player. I don’t like the song thats displaying so I hit next and the song playing in the hall/auditorium changes and I suddenly realize that this is a remote for the music. I hit another button and it turns on a spot light. So I hit skip again to go to another song. Then I see someone I know and laugh to myself. I look at the control again and see a button that I know is labeled pigtails but I never read it. The girl I saw had pigtails so I pressed it. The next moment she had a big spotlight on her. Then the light faded after a few seconds. I did this twice more. Each time to someone I recognized but with one of the more ornate glued on masks. At one point, a girl game by and said something to me. I’m not sure what though. She was the best friend of one of my ex-girlfriends, neither of whom I have talked to or seen in a very long time. As I look back at the control, I think that I don’t like this song so I hit next, then next again because I don’t like that song. I did that about 20 more times in quick succession and realized it was really quiet. Everyone had passed out from what I guess was the quiet and maybe they had been drinking. I can’t say for sure.

Suddenly the auditorium is filled with seats and everyone that was passed out is suddenly awake and looking at the stage. I look up and hit the spotlight key on the control to see what they are looking at. My parents are on stage. I can’t really hear what they are saying but it seems they are dedicating something to me and something is removed from the front of one of the side balcony seats way up high that was covering a banner. This banner is maybe no bigger than a laundry basket and is located really high in this huge hall. Once again, I couldn’t read it, but I knew what it said. It said:

ACC
Bradman
Robert

I think to myself what this tiny banner in this huge hall is supposed to mean for whom, when I hear my parents say that they were sorry the first name was half wrong and they would get it fixed but congratulations anyway. I think to myself, “Figures.” But for whatever reason, my ex’s friend is there again at my shoulder and she grabs my arm and congratulates me. I asked her what the ACC meant and she said, “It means you have a pulse. You’re not indifferent anymore. You actually care about things around you. Welcome!”

Then I turn around and see my mom in the audience aisle. She then proceeded to do a forward flip in the air and landed awkwardly and said something about not being as young as she used to be.

Then I woke up.

At the end it really felt like I was one of the kids from Neon Genesis Evangelion at the end of the original anime where everyone was congratulating them (if you haven’t seen it, don’t worry that doesn’t even come close to ruining anything at all). I have no idea what the majority of this is from. I say from, because what it means will most likely never be evident as in most dreams.

I wear pleated kakhi pants to work everyday and hate them. I feel like I’m wearing clown pants, but they are all I have and most of them were gifts from my mom. She got me a bunch of clothes when she heard I would have to dress up for the new job.

In the club, I wasn’t dancing because I had not overcomed the small barrier of reluctance I have. I suppose I’ll never get rid of all my shy-ness, but once I get over that small barrier where ever I am each time, I will dance like a fool and love every minute of it.

The mp3 player might have something to do with the one I bought myself for the holidays. I haven’t put that thing down since I got it.

The whole indifference issue is something thats always bothered me. For along time I’ve just felt like I’m completely indifferent to everything. So indifferent, that I’m completely apathetic to most decisions in my life, and solely make said decisions based upon habit. I don’t feel strongly about anything and when I do, I question it because I don’t understand why anyone would feel strongly about anything. And when I say anything I mean anything maybe other than their own children when the kids are still young. Numb to the world, I suppose is the best way I can put it. In some cases, its not that I don’t have a preference, its just that I don’t care or I’m too lazy, which sort of go hand in hand.

And apparently my mom can do flips or something. Crazy.
So there you have another of my strange dreams.