Ah, the morning ride on the subway. There really are few experiences quite like it.
This morning for instance, the guy sitting next to me offered his seat to some old woman standing up. She waved her hand and said ‘No, thanks. I’m ok.” At the very next stop a woman got on the train holding a cup of coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts with one of those funky lids so you don’t spill. The old woman took one look at it and yelled in a bitter, mean old voice, “Don’t stand so close to me with that coffee! You’re going to spill it all over me!” The woman responded, “Its not going to spill.” The old woman cut her off and said that drinks weren’t even allowed on the subway. The coffee lady asked where the signs were. At this point two people were kind enough to move aside and let the coffee lady stand where they had been, trading spots basically. The old woman was still yelling about some story she heard about coffee spilling on someone and coffee lady yelled, “ALL RIGHT ALREADY. I MOVED!” The guy sitting next to me and I were laughing while trying to make it look like we weren’t. We weren’t being very effective though.
The next stop we go to, we end up waiting for about 30 minutes because of a breakdown further up the tracks at a different station. No one was really happy about it, but its part of the commute and the subway simply has not recovered since the blizzard last month. The service was been awful ever since. When we are told we will be moving the old woman yells at a very tall man, “Don’t smother me!” I looked over and the guy was like 3 feet away from her with a big smile on his face. I started laughing again. Considering everyone else on the train is inches away from each other, that was pretty amusing.
The next stop someone made the mistake of mentioning that it was crowded. The old woman proceded to yell, “Thats because we were stuck at Andrew Station for half an hour!”
I might have snorted I’m not sure. Old people are funny when they aren’t yelling at me.